Christmas Conversation Questions

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Merry Christmas!  I would love to help you create some true moments of real connection this holiday!

This Christmas, have the conversations that bring you closer. I’ve taken our categories and formula from Dance of Hearts: Couples Sessions and created some fun holiday conversations.

christmas conversation questions

Take some time this week to truly connect with your loved ones around the table, in front of the tree or with morning coffee.  This won’t happen by accident, so save these questions for some help!

As a couples therapist for 25 years, the deepest connections I see are when couples really stop to tune into each other and create conversations they wouldn’t normally fall into.  Without intention, we find ourselves ruminating about issues, politics, gossip or we tune out and scroll.  And yet another day goes by without feeling seen and known by the most important people in our lives.

But don’t just answer random questions, go further.  Our connection heightens when we tune into our emotions.  This is why each of my questions have follow up prompts to build emotional awareness and prompts to help you use this information to connect.

These questions represent each of the 7 categories in our Dance of Hearts: Couples Sessions, Date Night Conversation cards. Try these out and if you are looking for more, the cards are available to purchase here or on Amazon. Have fun and get connecting!


🎄 FUN

1. Core: What’s your favorite silly or playful Christmas memory?

  • Emotion: What feeling comes up for you when you remember that moment?

  • Connection: Let’s recreate a playful moment together this week—what could that look like?

2. Core: If we made up our own quirky Christmas tradition, what would it be?

  • Emotion: What do you imagine feeling if this became “our thing”?

  • Connection: What’s one small way we could start that tradition this year?

3. Core: What part of Christmas helps you feel lighthearted or carefree?

  • Emotion: When you feel that lightness, what do you notice in your body?

  • Connection: How can I help protect or invite more of that feeling for you?

🎄 SENSUALITY

1. Core: What sensory part of Christmas do you enjoy most—touch, smell, taste, sound, or sight?

  • Emotion: What emotion does that sensation bring up for you?

  • Connection: How could we intentionally share that sensory experience together?

2. Core: What helps you feel most relaxed or cozy during the holidays?

  • Emotion: What happens inside when you feel truly relaxed with me?

  • Connection: What’s one way I could support more ease or comfort for you this season?

3. Core: Is there a holiday moment when you feel especially close in a quiet, nonverbal way?

  • Emotion: What does that closeness mean to you?

  • Connection: Could we create more moments like that—what would you need from me?

🎄 INTIMACY

1. Core: When during the holidays do you feel most emotionally close to me?

  • Emotion: What need of yours feels met in those moments?

  • Connection: How can we intentionally create more of that closeness?

2. Core: What’s something meaningful you’d like me to understand about how Christmas feels for you?

  • Emotion: What emotion is hardest for you to share around the holidays?

  • Connection: What would help you feel safer or more understood when you share that?

3. Core: How does stress show up for you during this season?

  • Emotion: What are you most needing when that stress shows up?

  • Connection: How would you like me to respond when I notice you’re overwhelmed?

🎄 MEANING

1. Core: What does Christmas symbolize for you at this stage of your life?

  • Emotion: How does that meaning connect to what matters most to you right now?

  • Connection: How can we honor that meaning together?

2. Core: Is there a value or belief you want our holidays to reflect?

  • Emotion: Why does that value feel important to you?

  • Connection: What’s one way we could live that value this season?

3. Core: How have your feelings about Christmas changed over the years?

  • Emotion: What emotions come up when you notice that change?

  • Connection: How can we hold space for both the past and who you are now?

🎄 KNOWING

1. Core: What’s something about your holiday experience that people often misunderstand?

  • Emotion: How does it feel when that part of you isn’t seen?

  • Connection: What would help you feel more known by me around this?

2. Core: What’s one thing you secretly hope for each Christmas?

  • Emotion: What emotion is underneath that hope?

  • Connection: How can I be more attentive to that hope?

3. Core: What’s a holiday stressor that feels especially tender for you?

  • Emotion: What does that stress touch emotionally for you?

  • Connection: How can I show you I’m on your side with this?

🎄 CHERISHING

1. Core: What’s something you really appreciate about how I show up during the holidays?

  • Emotion: How does that appreciation feel inside your body?

  • Connection: Can we pause and really take that appreciation in together?

2. Core: When do you feel most valued by me at Christmas?

  • Emotion: What does being valued mean to you?

  • Connection: How can I express my appreciation for you more clearly?

3. Core: What’s one way you’d like to be cherished more this season?

  • Emotion: What need would that meet for you?

  • Connection: What’s one small, concrete way I could do that?

🎄 HEALING

1. Core: Is there a part of Christmas that feels tender or painful for you?

  • Emotion: What emotion feels closest to that tenderness?

  • Connection: How would you like me to support you when that comes up?

2. Core: Are there any expectations you’d like to release this year?

  • Emotion: What would it feel like to let those go?

  • Connection: How can we remind each other to be gentle about this?

3. Core: What would emotional safety look like for you this holiday season?

  • Emotion: What helps you feel safest in connection with me?

  • Connection: What agreements could we make to protect that safety together?